JUST WANT TO LET OUT THE STEAM!!!

When I was a little girl my mommy used to tell me "If you be kind to people, people will be kind to you too but if you are unkind to people, people will be unkind to you." she even told me "Don't you ever look down or betrays people, if people look down or betrays you, don't take revenge let karma do its job for you." Throughout my life, I try my best to follow what my mom told me, I try to be kind and helpful to people especially my friends. I try not to retaliate and hurt people when they betrays or shoot me with their laser mouth! And I tell you sometimes the words that come out from those laser mouth people really can cut into your heart and you just feel like giving their face a tight slap!

Some of my friends just simply says that I'm too timid and scared to fight back. I don't know, may be they are right in a way. But I just don't have the heart to say mean things back at people, that is just not me! I don't want to be as low as that person and I don't want to make matters worse! Some of you might say that "Haiya! Don't deny la, just admit it that you just don't have the guts la!" I don't want to comment, say what ever you like but I know myself better than anyone of you!

It is just sad that sometimes,when you think that you are just being kind to people and you do good favours for people (because you treat those people as friends) people tend to think that you are too 'chin chai' and then they either take you for granted and push, pull, squeeze, twist and bend you around just like a spring to their needs. And when you open your moth to say 'no' people either thinks that I'm joking or just "tarik harga

One of my close friend once say to me in an angry tone "When those people need you they come to you but now when you really need their help they are not here to help!" I am actually touched that she feels for me but I am not hurt nor angry with those people, why? because when you help people, you help with a sincere heart and you don't expect people to return your kindness. If you expect people to return your kindness than you will be miserable your whole life. I help people sincerely, therefore I hope that people will do the same and not that I need to go and forced them to help me.

I don't say that I am a good person, but I dare to say that I treats my friends good. I am willing to share and help my friends whenever I can but it is within my limit la of cause. I don't really mind my good friends come and borrow my laptop, scanner or come to my place to online and I am happy that they still respect me by asking or telling me first before they use it.

Anyway, sometime ago, I was having a short talk with some one and that person make a comment ".... maybe you are just too easy to push around!" I know that person mean it as a joke but I also know that if you don't mean what you say, it wouldn't have come out of your mouth, right? So my conclusion is, the statement is a half joke and half truth! It really struck me and I was speechless for awhile... I was thinking " Oh my Holy Lord! All this while, when I thought that I am just being kind to my friend and this is what my friend has in mind about me! He/she just think that I am easy to be push around and easy to step on!" At that moment I felt like a total IDIOT (so where is the 'be kind to people and people will be kind to you' principle gone to?) In this situation it is just BE KIND TO YOUR FRIEND AND THEY WILL TREAT YOU LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT THAT CAN BE EASILY STEP ON!

Some people might again say " Haiya! Don't be too sensitive la, may be that friend of yours is really joking leh!" Like I say before.... if you doesn't mean or think that way, than it won't suddenly pop out of your mouth right? Say I am sensitive? Yes I am, so what?

Than, just sometime ago one of my friend commented (This is not exactly what he/she said) " You are the one who 'sibuk' calling people your friend but people also don't call you a friend." When i heard this, I am not angry at the friend who said it, in fact I should thank that friend for being bold enough to knock some sense out of me! I really make a FOOL out of myself...

I just want to remind those who think that I am easy to be step on, I have my own principle and I stand on my principle. When I don't hit back it doesn't mean that I am scared of you nor am I afraid of you but I am not as low as you (My tongue is not as sharp as yours!). If you think that I am too easy to be taken advantage on then... I am so sorry that you have such a negatives thoughts!

I am just who I am, I have a clear conscience and I don't own anyone an apology or need anyone to feel sorry for me.